(The subject line should warn readers about the content to follow. There will be linguistics, and also music, but there’s no denying the sexual content, which might make some readers uncomfortable.)
Yesterday, in talking about a comic in the first issue of the publication Meatmen, I noted that in this strip,
blow jobs (by mouth or Accu-Jac) and hand jobs abound
referring to an electrically-operated male masturbation device, via a trade name variously spelled (here, I used the spelling most familiar to me, but it seems that the trade name is, or at least was, Accujac). Much to talk about here — male masturbation devices, spellings, the name Accujac, the expression jack off, the noun orifice, and more. But, in recognition of recent events, I’ll start with Prince.
Prince and jacking off. The cover of Controversy (1981), an album with both “Sexuality” and “Jack U Off” on it:
(#1)
(Personal note: This album was my first experience of Prince, in the summer of 1984. Electrifying. Specifically, it started with “Jack U Off” on the radio (while I was visiting at Stanford), and then I got the album, and then Purple Rain, and a lot more.)
A snippet from “Sexuality”:
We live in a world overrun by tourists
Tourists, 89 flowers on their back
Inventors of the Accu-Jack
(Spelling from one lyrics source; others have different spellings.)
As I read Prince, he’s dissing people who live in this world as tourists rather than engaged participants — wearing gaudy flowered shirts from a shop rather than actually taking part in the culture, and getting off second-hand, through the medium of a penis pump (essentially a suction device for milking semen from a man — or a bull or a stallion or whatever), rather than by human contact, even with your own friendly hand).
You can watch a performance here.
On the other hand, you can’t miss the theme of “Jack U Off” (the final track on Controversy). The song is in fact addressed to a woman, though that can be concealed in performance. You can watch Prince performing the song here. There’s a gay male cover by Pansy Division, from Pile Up (1995), which you can listen to here. Some discussion on this blog in “Serving the penis” from 7/5/15, with a link to more substantial discussion in “Blowjob, handjob” on AZBlogX.
The brief line on Prince from Wikipedia:
Prince Rogers Nelson (June 7, 1958 – April 21, 2016), known as Prince, was an American singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, record producer, and actor. He was a musical innovator and known for his eclectic work, flamboyant stage presence, extravagant dress and makeup, and wide vocal range. His music integrates a wide variety of styles, including funk, rock, R&B, soul, psychedelia, and pop.
Male masturbation devices. The basic masturbation device used by a man (on himslf or another person) is the human hand, perhaps with some lubrication (saliva or a longer-lasting natural or commercial substance).
One step away from this direct contact is the masturbation sleeve, which can take many forms, all involving a soft tube of some kind that can slide over the penis to approximate a partner’s sexual orifice: mouth, anus, or vagina. One best best-seller in this department is the Fleshjack (also marketed as Flesh-Jack), which I wrote about here on 1/26/10 in “What’s P your N?” (taking off on the ad slogan “What’s in YOUR wallet?”):
The Fleshjack website describes this “ultimate gay sex toy”:
The Fleshjack contains an interchangeable masturbation sleeve encased in a sleek, durable plastic container. The masturbation sleeve is made from a patented material called SuperSkin™, which replicates the sensation of penetrative sex. The sleeves come in a variety of inner textures to further enhance your sexual experience.
The ad where I first came across this object shows a beefy guy wielding his Fleshjack with intense concentration (of the sort that people fully engaged in sexual activity are inclined to exhibit), along with that question, which I assume is to be read as “what’s on YOUR dick?”, implicating that if it’s anything other than a Fleshjack — your hand, for instance — it’s inferior to it, so you should upgrade to a Fleshjack.
Two crucial pieces to the Fleshjack: the sleeve, of course, but also the orifice, for inserting the penis into the sleeve. The orifices are designed to play into the user’s fantasies about sex: oral (resembling lips, providing entry into a mouth), anal (resembling buttocks, providing entry into an anus), and vaginal (resembling a vulva, providing entry into a vagina). Here’s an Endurance Jack designed for gay male users:
(#2)
The company’s ad copy:
Practice makes perfect, especially in the bedroom. The Endurance Jack was specifically designed to replicate the intense sensations of intercourse, which can help users increase sexual stamina, improve performance and techniques, and heighten and intensify orgasms. $69.95
That’s one expensive wank.
(The company has a stable of gay pornstars to market products like #2.)
A note on orifice. Yes, you can get a Fleshjack with an oral orifice, and that’s not a redundancy. From NOAD2 on orifice:
an opening, as of a pipe or tube, or one in the body, such as a nostril or the anus. ORIGIN late Middle English: from French, from late Latin orificium, from os, or– ‘mouth’ + facere ‘make.’
So orifice is metaphorical, like mouth in the mouth of the river, and is now psychologically disconnected from literal mouths. As a result, if you can have a vaginal orifice and an anal orifice, you’ll need to refer to a mouth-like orifice as an oral orifice.
The electrical device. The final step is to give up stroking your penis with a hand (directly or on a masturbation sleeve), and cede control to a device that will do the stroking for you, through the miracle of electricity, with a masturbation sleeve connected to an electrically operated sucking pump.
(Personal note: most masturbation sleeves don’t appeal to me, and the Fleshjack strikes me as really silly, as well as absurdly expensive, but the attractions of an automated penis milking machine are completely beyond me.)
The first penis milking device on the market was apparently the one I mentioned in yesterday’s posting and Prince referred to in “Sexuality”, marketed under the name Accujac — a name that seems to be a portmanteau of accurate (alluding to control) and the jack of jack off.
A note on spelling. There are many versions of the name. Some are hyphenated, some spelled solid. All have two parts, and the first part is always capitalized, but the second part can be capitalized or not. The first part is usually spelled ACCU (as in accurate), but sometimes ACU (which has, for me, unfortunate associations with the acu- of acupuncture, originally meaning ‘with a needle’ — ouch!); the second part is spelled either JACK in full or fashionably shortened to JAC.
Of the 16 possible spellings, then, Accujac is spelled (a) solid, (b) with no cap on the second part, and with parts (c) ACCU and (d) JAC.
The actual device. The Accujac seems to have rapidly receded into history. I dimly recall having seen videos of the thing in operation about 20 years ago, but now it’s passé. Apparently the earliest versions were single-speed, but quickly variable-speed took over.
The successor to the Accujac was the Robojac, with a somewhat more satisfactory name, with robo for robot(ic), as in robocall and robocop. The Robojac is still being marketed by the Funways Marketing Group, with this pitch:
Manufacturer of the Robojac: The most popular, best selling hands free masturbation system ever.
Adjust suction and stroke length according to your own individual preference. Control speed and motion of the sleeve to suit your individual mood.
This miracle of engineering operates by creating alternating air flows of suction and pressure to move a soft, pliant, translucent massaging sleeve up and down the length of an erect penis.The Robojac Standard Model has plenty of power and can drive a variety of attachmentsfor a wide range of massaging sensations and provide the ultimate in personal gratification.
If you have tried other types of masturbation devices, then you know they all have one thing in common, they must all be manipulated by hand. The Robojac solves this problem by providing you automatic stroking action that works hands free in any position and stays on without the use of harnesses or straps.
Robojac Standard Starter System – Only $529.00
Only $529!
A thumbnail of the starter system, featuring the sleeve:
(#3)
Lots of pump hardware there.
A competitor to the Robojac is the Venus 2000, now (apparently) marketed as the Venus for Men. The brief copy:
Venus for Men [by Sybian] is a high-tech, hands-free stroking masturbation machine. It’s durable, portable and quiet design allow the user to adjust the stroke length and stroke speed from 8 to 300 strokes per minute. $956.00
(#4)
It looks more compact than the Robojac, and claims to be easily portable. It also claims to be quiet, though some users of both the Robojac and the Venus have complained about the machines’ noise. Well, they’re pumps.
So now, for a mere grand, you can sit back on the bus for the Magical Masturbatory Tour and have your ejaculation come to you.
