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Mitch is always DTF

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(A lot about dildos and their uses, so probably not for kids or the sexually modest.)

The mail header on today’s Daily Jocks ad. DTF was new to me, but then I’m far from plugged into things — WTF I know, but DTF not, though I guessed the F is for fuck — so I had to look it up. From NOAD:

abbreviation DTF: vulgar slang down to fuck (used, typically on dating websites or apps, to indicate that a person is willing or eager to engage in sexual activity).

(Side query: how to tell when a use of fuck is narrow — a penis is inserted in a sexcavity — and when it is pragmatically broad, conveying (in the context of the moment) merely ‘engage in sexual activity’ — for which a frequent euphemism is ‘play’, which is easily understood too broadly, as covering things short of counting as sexual activity? It’s all a delicate verbal balancing act.)

Then there’s the fact that Mitch is a dildo, so it’s a bit of a stretch to talk about Mitch as always being enthusiastically ready to fuck.


(#1) [text on DJ site:] Cast from a real model, this incredibly lifelike 7.5″ dildo will leave you gasping for more.

Main text in the mailing (not edited):

TAKE MITCH HOME TODAY

With a firm but flexible shaft and a realistic feel, it is so close to the real thing you’ll barely notice the difference.

Made from a high-grade body friendly silicon thats odour free.  Once you’ve tried him out, we guarantee you will come back for more, time and time again.

7.5″ length, 5.5″ girth

Mitch will set you back $50. But then you only have to pay for him the first time.

Digression: DTF at OkCupid. From The CUT site (“Fashion, Beauty, Politics, Sex and Celebrity”) at New York magazine , “OkCupid’s New Subway Ads Rethink ‘DTF’” by Emily Sundberg on 1/19/18:


(#2) (photo: Maurizio Cattelan)

“You know what? I knew DTF meant Down to Fuck, but then I met Melissa and she said ‘No, you silly boy!’” Artist Maurizio Cattelan turned to Melissa Hobley, OkCupid’s CMO, and gestured to a row of seated guests at the party. “Did Frank Gehry design these benches too?”
Cattelan was at OkCupid’s New York City launch party last night for the dating site’s latest provocative ad campaign, which riffs on that phrase shared on Tinder and in texts, “DTF.” Cattelan and Pierpaolo Ferrari, the Italian artist duo behind Toiletpaper Magazine, shot the photographs. Coming to a subway near you, each ad features a new version of “DTF” like “Down to Fall Head Over Heels” and “Down to Filter Out the Far Right,” with cheeky pairings of words and images: “Down To Four-Twenty” appears next to a grinning couple on a floating couch.
… New Yorkers will start seeing the OkCupid ads on subways in the coming months.

On OkCupid, from Wikipedia:

OkCupid (often abbreviated as OKC, but officially OkC) is a U.S.-based, internationally operating online dating, friendship, and formerly also a social networking website and application. It features multiple-choice questions to match members. Registration is free. OKCupid is owned by Match Group, which also owns Tinder, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, and many other popular dating apps and sites.

OkCupid is decidedly liberal in its politics, and it screams that it’s NOT a hookup site.

Note: In a comparison of 43 online dating services on Wikipedia, all say they support same-sex dating (see #2 above), several exclusively — except for two (Facebook Dating and Right Stuff, which are marked ?).

A tale of two Mitches. But back to dildos, for those of us who, for whatever reason, are going the synthetic route. It turns out that there’s a second Mitch in town. On amazon.com (and many other sites), there’s Hung Rider Mitch from Blush Novelties; the description on Amazon:


(#3) 9″ Long Thick Realistic Dildo – Cock and Balls Dong – Suction Cup Harness Compatible – Sex Toy for Women – Sex Toy for Adults (Beige)

… Sized for those who want more. At 9.5 inches Mitch will definitely satisfy your needs [the description above says 9 inches, the Blush Novelties package says 8 inches; at least some of this difference no doubt comes from whether the testicles are included in the measurement]

… Made of Body Safe Non Porous PVC

[and priced at $22.64]

On the materials: for Hung Rider Mitch, PVC (polyvinyl chloride, a synthetic plastic polymer, available in rigid and flexible forms; the flexible form is used in many applications replacing rubber); vs. for DJ’s Mitch, silicone (a family of polymers based on silicon — which are highly unreactive and very long-lasting, and also more expensive than most plastics).

Head to head comparison: Silicone Mitch is more realistic in many ways (including, apparently, feel as well as appearance; the look you can see for yourself) than PVC Mitch, but is also only about twice as expensive, and also seems to be more realistic in size, though still of (extravagant) pornstar dimensions.

(On the cost of dildos: roughly comparable dildos from similar materials, all without vibrators built in, range in list price from about $20 to about $100.)

 


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